ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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