He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
