i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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