I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
