honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
