Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
