he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
from now on my penis is your penis
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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