I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
