Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
