I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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