your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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