He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
