I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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