Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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