I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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