I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
