Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
