With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
