He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
