whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize