We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
