You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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