What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
