remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize