that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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