i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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