Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize