I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
