I bet he comes in French.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
