I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
