the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
