He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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