I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
