so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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