Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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