sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
There's always time for handjobs
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
