I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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