By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize