I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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