this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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