1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
