Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
