Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You may now shotgun with the bride
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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