We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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