oh god the rape fog is back!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize