he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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