do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
