I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
