I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I have tasted many bathrooms
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize