So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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