Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize