WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
