By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
