he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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