I wanna bring you to show and tell
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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