Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
