whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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