your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
