my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
