I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
