You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
