yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
