Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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