We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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