Even the bartender felt bad for me
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize