i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
