Whatcha textin bout Willis?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
