Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize