I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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