So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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