seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
