You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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