well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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