A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I fill condoms, not promises.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
