And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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