im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
