Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
